before college, i was fascinated and hooked to computers (only gaming) and never knew any other side of it. I chose computer science as my B.Tech degree course and was really really happy about it. I knew i would be happy with my most favorite thing in the world. When the college started, i liked programming and i was good at it, papa also got me a brand new and expensive dell xps worth rs 60k. i still don’t know how did he afford so much when he himself was using a rs 6k phone and i have never seen my parents buy expensive stuff since we were not poor but we were never rich (good old indian middle class, slightly better).
Then came 2nd semester, and i was in college hostel, i got really close to a few of my super seniors (3rd year students, especially nakul pareek sir) and they were into linux, red hat, etc( i dont remember what else did they do) and that caught onto me. I was installing multiple os on my laptop and knew about python language in my first year (2007) when my fellow 1st years hadn’t even heard the names of most of these things.
Fast forward 3 and half years and i am in my final year. i know nothing more than i did in my first semester. I barely passed in my exams (that too because i had really good friends, Nitesh, Nisha, Khushboo) and they used to literally teach me everything right before the exams (90% of my marks were because of them and i am really grateful i had such good friends and this is not just because they helped me in my exams).
i did not like computer science anymore and i was searching for a project which was vague, sounded good and the examiner wouldn’t question too much on it (for obvious reasons), i chose “cluster computing”.
after i graduated, there were times when i would look back and feel dejected because even though i had great potential ( i was gifted and bright one) i was biting everyone’s dust. I had no direction in life. i wanted to everything and nothing (actually i did nothing). i used to think why did i waste such precious 4 years of my college life where i could i have done so much even if i was just 10% focused ( i cant even remember i how i passed 365×4 days).
Fast forward 7 years, same story. I look back and think how come i have wasted another 7 years (i graduated in 2011) and i still feel the same, think the same (miserable) and do the same thing (think so much and do nothing).
Hope, everything will change today and after 1 year… i won’t be the same person i have been for the last 10 years.